2015年6月13日雅思写作解析及语料库

　　小作文： 饼图和柱图的组合图：

　　点评：

　　1. 静态饼图比较的是百分比的大小;动态饼图比较的是百分比的变化。

　　2. 静态柱形图比较的是百分比的高低;动态柱图比较的是百分比的变化。

　　As traffic and accommodation problems are increasing in the large cities，the government encourages businesses move to the rural area. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages? 政府鼓励企业移到乡村地区，是否认为这种做法的利大于弊?

　　雅思提问的四种经典角度：

　　1. 两种观点讨论

　　2. 利弊讨论

　　3. 是否同意一种观点

　　4. 分析问题和解决问题

　　利弊讨论话题的布局图：

　　首段：背景介绍 + 争议焦点 + 作家立场

　　二段：三个利好的展开：一定要有写作细节和例证的支持

　　三段：二个弊端的展开：一定要有写作细节和例证的支持

　　尾段：亮明观点：强调是……是双刃刀，有利有弊;我们应该扬长避短或者我认为……是利大于弊以及提出如何克服弊端。

　　作家立场：政府鼓励企业迁移到乡村地区的做法是利大于弊。

　　思路拓展：

　　企业迁移到乡村地区利好的展开：

　　1. 这有助于大都市的环境的改善，因为减少了空气和噪音的污染。

　　2. 城市里建立大型企业会占据宝贵的土地的资源，如果企业迁出城市中心，这会缓解住房短缺的压力。

　　3. 在偏远的乡村地区建立企业，有助于创造地方的就业机会，繁荣当地的经济。

　　企业迁移到乡村地区弊端的展开：

　　1. 如果将城市中已有的企业迁移到偏远的地区，这可能会使城市中原企业的职员失业。

　　2. 一些可能污染环境的企业，例如造纸厂和化工厂，如果建设在郊区，会给当地造成一定的环境污染。

　　尾段策略：

　　虽然鼓励企业迁移到郊区可能存在一些弊端，但是，我认为，这个做法从长远看，是利大于弊的。

　　原创范文赏析：

　　首段：背景介绍+争议焦点+作家立场

　　Currently, it is no rare to see that many businesses are encouraged to build their factories and conduct their production in those rural areas. People have been pondering the pros and cons of motivating enterprises to migrate to the rural areas without reaching any definite consensus. As I see it, the merits of this practice outbalance its possible demerits.

　　点评：首段个性开篇;句型引导争议焦点;清晰亮明作家立场。

　　二段：三点利好的展开：(三点理由)

　　Granted, numerous benefits can be gained via inspiring the factories to run in the remote rural areas. First, the most obvious merit is that housing shortage could be greatly ameliorated More precisely, if there are less large-scaled enterprises to occupy limited land resources, then，increasing numbers of people will have chances to realize their dreams of owning their houses in big cities. Further, it is conceivable that over-expansion of highly contaminated factories in big cities will inevitably trigger environment-related problems and even traffic problems, hence, the heavy traffic and undesirable living environment can be effectively resolved if few factories are not allowed to exist in metropolis. Eventually, the migration of businesses will, to a large extent, inject new l vitality into the further development of those rural areas. In other words, more local job opportunities can be created and thus prosper the local economy.

　　解析：housing shortage could be greatly ameliorated 住房短缺可以得到极大改善

　　解析：over-expansion of highly contaminated factories in big cities will inevitably trigger environment-related problems and even traffic problems 高度污染的企业的扩张会带来一些环境问题和交通问题

　　解析：are not allowed to exist in metropolis. 不被允许在大都市存在

　　解析：inject new l vitality into the further development of those rural areas. 为乡村地区的发展注入新鲜活力

　　点评：逻辑清晰;词汇变化;句型多元。

　　三段：弊端的展开(二点理由)

　　Nonetheless，we can never ignore the possible downsides triggered by constructing rural enterprises. First of all, this policy will take the bread out of many city workers’ mouth provided that their former businesses have to migrate to rural areas because most employees might be reluctant to work far away from home. Another demerit might be that some factories such as paper mills or chemical plants will pose a threat to the local environment even though it brings about economic incentive.

　　解析：take the bread out of one’s mouth v抢了某人的饭碗

　　解析：paper mills or chemical plants n造纸厂和化工厂

　　解析：pose a threat to v给……造成威胁

　　点评：侧重分明;论述有理;文风简洁。

　　尾段：亮明观点 + (总结理由)

　　In closing，my stand is that building up factories in the rural areas is a double-edged weapon， which can used for equally good or evil. Even though it might cause some problems，it is still a preferable and feasible attempt in the long run.

　　解析：…… is a double-edged weapon， which can used for equally good or evil ……是一把双刃刀，有利有弊。

　　解析：It is still a preferable and feasible attempt in the long run. 从长远看，这依然是一个值得推荐的可行的尝试。

　　全文点评：

　　文无定法，原创范文只是雅思写作之一种，建议童鞋打造属于自己的个性范文。本文主题明确，逻辑清晰，例证饱满，词汇多元，句法多变，符合雅思写作四项评分标准，可为童鞋赏析学习之佳作。建议童鞋背诵文中精彩的词汇和句型。考试周报的练笔对于写作的提升极其重要，功夫在诗外，积累在点滴，童鞋加油。6月20日以及6月27日雅思考试预测请关注雅思频道。